(More recent puppy photos after the break)

What a wonderful day with my girl.

I got to creep in bed with her this morning and snuggle and play a bit. She seemed to need a little perking up… the ice cube helped lots!!!

We ran around and did some great shopping at garage sales and thrift stores and even off of Craigslist where we went to buy a pair of chaps for mouse, and instead, discovered other things for sale… and mouse came away with two amazing black leather corsets and a matching corset mini skirt. All those big juicy curves tightly laced into yummy leather… PURRRRRR!!!!!

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Happy, as I sit in my recliner blogging after a long busy day, a long busy day with minimal pain.  Which is a treat beyond belief.  I have a different combination of medication that seems to be making a real difference, at least for now.

Now I’m going to go to bed and dream about all the wonderful things to come over the rest of the weekend!

XO

When I look at half the rumours started about me and others, it seems much of the time those lies are actually based on people having mistaken assumptions and perceptions. People look at a situation, and fill in the blanks… incorrectly.  I guess I just don’t understand why people jump to negative conclusions about others and their motivations.  I guess it makes sense to them in someway. I tend to assume the best of people until proven otherwise. Respect is given as an automatic until someone erodes away at it. I don’t hold grudges. I’m not generally suspicious of people, I tend to think good of others.

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One of the things in life that brings me great joy is beauty.  Beauty is an interesting concept. It can refer to something very superficial and commercial, especially in our modern era where beauty is made a commodity.  But for me beauty is a deep and complex concept… yet very simple, all at the same time.

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I was scared there for a little bit, started to slide back into the abyss, and was worried I was going to fall and fall and fall. Loved ones helped pull me through, and some medication changes too. It’s amazing what chronic pain can do to your brain sometimes.  I’m still not feeling great, but I’m feeling steady… stablized, remarkably safe, considering the pain, the depression, the anxiety.

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It feels weird, to be cut off from FetLife. I’d pretty much moved all my blogging there over the last little while. There is many things about the FetLife community that I miss, and hopefully I’ll be able to go back to it when I’m feeling better. Wolfe is helping me do good self care and my access to websites that have the potential to upset or trigger me have all gone bye-bye lol. So If I try to pull up those sites on my browser I just get blank pages.  Is all that really necessary? … er, yes.  Might as well grasp the full fact now, I’m a grown adult incapable of caring for myself properly, there you have it.

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I’m struggling right now. I have to be honest. The pain doesn’t let up, the exhaustion doesn’t let up, life stressors don’t let up…

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I gave up.

Well, let me explain. I’m not giving up on my year of giving. Or my life of giving for that matter. I’ve decided though that I’m not going to blog about it anymore.

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I’ve been struggling a bit with pain and energy this week. It’s made it hard to focus and motivate. We donated to the food bank both days when picking up stuff from the grocery store, rather, Wolfe donated on our behalf.  I’ve been home bonding with my sofa.

Of a year of giving.

It’s been a busy crazy bustling wild week. There were lots of little giving opportunities each and every day that I found, however, with my memory, and my energy, and not recording them daily. Most of them have slipped away from my memory now.

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I gave time to help support a member of my depression group with her goals. We went for a walk together, and then I bought her a tea.

I also gave an open offer of help and support to a friend I’m missing and concerned for.

I gave someone in group help with goal setting.

I gave a sweet little boy some toys and books that I had looking for a good home.

I donated my change at Walmart to guide dogs for the visually impaired.

I gave a statement of intent/interest to adopt a beautiful big snake. Can’t take her home today, but we’re going to build her an enclosure hopefully and woo the reptile rescue lady and hopefully have her home in a few months. (big 6ish foot big beautiful 30lb boa – she’s so strong – needs two people to really control her).

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