Aug 5 2002 - Shaving and wigging
I'm hyped about today, later this evening I have a friend coming over to shave my head. We're going to clipper it indoors because I don't have a cordless clipper, but then go outdoors to do the razoring part of the shave! I'm interested in seeing what reactions I might get. It will be close to home, just outside our apartment, but there is a fair bit of foot traffic.
Then, we get to play dress-up and role play in front of the camera as we do some wig play, and take wig transition photos.
If we have time, I'll do my acupuncture needle Mohawk. Or attempt it at least, we'll have to see how I fair as I have needles inserted into my head!
I've decided that when we can afford it, I need to invest in one of the acupressure cupping sets that can be purchased in china town. It was fun to play with, and it's something I would like to explore using on other people.
I'm also investigating finding a very experienced female Domme to sub to on a regular basis for a while. As I want to get into pro-Domming, I have a lot of things still to learn, and I think one of the ways I could learn is through direct experience, since I do switch roles. Even though I do have some years of experience, and a number of skills, one can always learn more. Also, I think it would be very healing for me to have a relationship with a female Domme that wasn't about a deep 'love' relationship but took place only on a 'play' level. I think it might help break me out of some of my reverie of grieving and longing from my last relationship with a female top who I loved, and still love, desperately. I still shed tears of grief daily over the necessity of being separated from my lover, likely permanently, and I think experiencing a female top in another context might in many ways help me cope. I think it's worth a try anyways.
I have to allow myself to start living again, and start being able to extend my levels of trust out to others. Right now I've sheltered myself from intimacy in all my relationships, even with Wolfe. I'm only slowly starting to emerge from that protective shell. Even with Wolfe I'm starting slowly, and we've begun 'dating' again. Which usually involves hand holding, cuddling, and some kissing. Even as a teenager I wasn't this reserved! I'm like a born again virgin. I guess with a bit of a twist, since my BDSM lifestyle has been relatively active, with my acquisition of a house-boy, and doing some pro-domme work. Though when I've bottomed, it's been from a very shallow external experimental mindset, rather than an intimate one. I'm not sure how much of myself I'll be able to give again as a bottom, part of exploring with an experienced female top is about exploring that aspect of my psyche now.
I may just have to wait till my next lifetime to be blessed with that kind of connection again.
XO
Kattclix here to vote for my journal please
Come on.... just a little something, money for tea?
for Christmas dinner? for toilet paper? for shaving cream?for a puppy?for oranges? for tampons? for paper? for Mr. Noodle? hooked on phonics lessons? for anti-depressants? For puppy food?For puppy kindergarten? For bankruptcy fees?for neutering costs?