December 3 Horror Novel?
I feel like I've wandered into a Stephen King or Clive Barker horror novel. I have all the elements of one of the characters in his book, I'm depressed, slightly mentally imbalanced, plagued with dark thoughts, and life is getting weird in an ugly way. Maybe it's part of staying up all night. That doesn't account for my gruesome discovery of the fact that my cat has tapeworms, and that all my Japanese mandarins had molded out. I could go into the unpleasant details in full horror novel descriptive detail of those events for you... but trust me, you don't need to experience it second hand. It wasn't good for my psyche, it probably won't be good for yours either.
Then, the evil worm ridden cat, dashed out the front door, and I haven't been able to get him in again, this after half an hour of alternating searching and chasing in the dark. Why is this a problem, this is an indoor cat who is not street savvy, he was rescued from the country, we live in the city. I keep thinking if the plot continues along like it has so far, I'm going to find his carcass in the gutter next time I go out searching for him again. It's dark out still, it's freezing cold, and he runs and hides as soon as he sees me coming, and he can run a lot faster than I can, especially scaling neighbors fences. Unpleasant neighbors with security lights, dogs, and attitudes not welcoming of fence climbers in search of delinquent wormy cats.
Not only that, but I have relationship angst. I can no longer tell where reality lays in that regard. I've given up entirely on trying to figure out what crap I'm responsible for and what crap the other party is responsible for, because whenever I try to work that out with the other person, I keep on getting deeper and deeper into the mess instead of out of it. It's resulted with me feeling angrier for the longest and most intense period of my life that I can ever recall. I don't think I have held the emotional state of anger in my being so consistently for such a period of time. I'm just angry, and I can't seem to knock it, this, is yet another factor that might lead one to believe they've been re-cast in life as a horror novel character.
It's a damn good thing I don't have any psychotic tendencies, though if I don't get some Zzzzz's soon, the natural process of sleep deprivation may very well take care of that element.
I'm going to go back out into the dark frosted slippery bleak angry morning and try to catch my parasite laden pet.
I sincerely hope, everyone, is having a better day than I today.
XO
Kattclix here to vote for my journal please
Recommended this week - Eye Candy Photography. Photographer Rayce offers free galleries of gothic babes. A small but well done totally free art photography site. Easy to navigate, clean well laid out site. With small but creative photo galleries, of alternative beauties.
Come on.... just a little something, money for tea? for Christmas dinner? for toilet paper? for shaving cream? for a puppy? for oranges? for tampons? for paper? for Mr. Noodle? hooked on phonics lessons? for anti-depressants?