October 8th - Plump Turkey
Well, It's thanksgiving today here in Canada. There are plenty of things I am thankful for.
Like being alive. Like having barbie and Wolfe in my life.Like having a big yummy dinner planned tonight, it may just be barbie and I, or we may
manage to rustle up a few friends to come over.Though we're having ham, and not turkey.
The turkey is me... <laugh>
I have gained some serious weight over the summer, I think mostly due to inactivity because
of my depression, as well as indiscriminate eating of a lot of junk. As my mood has hit an all
time low, my weight has hit an all time high! I think I'm somewhere in the vicinity of 225lbs
I've stopped getting on the scale.
All in all, There are parts of my body that I don't mind being bigger, I don't mind having a
big ass, and I don't mind having bigger breasts... I do mind the cellulite on my butt and thighs
which I avoid showing in photos as much as possible.
And I really REALLY mind my belly.. which I decided to actually show a picture of here.
Usually, even when it was smaller, I was very careful to take picture poses and angles that
totally minimized or cropped it right out. I'm either feeling brave or masochistic today.
People who've gained weight and really not wanted to are going to know what I'm talking
about here. It's catching yourself in the mirror in a photo and thinking 'who the hell is that?'
'Oh my! I can't -possibly- be THAT big can I?' Well I've been having lots of those moments.I started to think this was getting really crazy when I went to shave my bikini line in the tub
yesterday and had problems negotiating the view around my big tummy... I couldn't seem to
squish it out of the way enough, or stretch my neck long enough... argh!!!... how do I trim
my bush?!!
So as I check out the size of my ass in the web cam, and catch the rolls and folds as I turn...
and think hmmm... what now? and think about the big feast tonight for thanksgiving...
and wonder...Am I going to start a change in my routine tomorrow... is it time to cut out the junk food
and start walking and dragging myself back to kickboxing classes (do you have any idea how
they torture you there?) I want to start back up with kickboxing, but it's so intimidating to
go back in at my level when you've gotten so profoundly out of shape.
Maybe I should take up Sumo instead? <laugh>
At least I'd be making use of my potentially largest striking area...
though somehow the idea of slamming people with my belly doesn't really ring home
with me...
Thankfully, even as I've thickened in the middle, I've still regained some of my
hourglass shape.
Well... what do you think?... I know I get mail from people saying 'gain weight' and
those folx will be happy, and I get mail from people saying 'lose weight' and those
folx aren't so happy right now.Maybe I should keep on laying in bed eating donuts, and just get more BBW banners
on the front of the site.. <grin>No seriously, I have to make some changes, somewhere, somehow, because as much
as I like other people clipping and shaving me, a girls got to be able to trim her own
bush in the bath!Now if you'll excuse me... I have to go put the ham in the oven...
XO
Katt
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