September 27th - Porn Star?
Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a 'porn star' how do I label and sell what I do here
If I don't label it porn? Because I tell you. Lots of people come by, and gripe.Some buy memberships and gripe.
Actually, I shouldn't say often, because it doesn't really happen very often,
but when it does, it pisses me off. It actually happens rarely, but it really pisses me off.Especially with my ultra sensitive nature, and I feel like maybe they have a point.
All these pics were of me on cam tonight... half guilt ridden, half defiant, half just
feeling rompy and hot. (rompy? is that a word?!? IT IS NOW!)
(And three halves?!?.. I know, I know)
Someone wrote in and complained about how we don't really do anything on the camera.
Which quite honestly we haven't been on much over the summer, except for the last few weeks
when we've started doing weekly shows. And I've spent more time just hanging out on the cam
again, I've done some impromptu stuff, like just now.I think the guy wrote something about us not being real like the other real life cams
because we didn't get down and dirty and do lots of real fucking on the cam.
I wonder if this guy reads my journal... somehow I don't think so, or maybe it just doesn't
really register in a real way.
Right now, I suffer from chronic depression, that came on last spring.
And I've had to give up a lot of things in my life to cope, like my regular 9-5 job
So life, has become a literal struggle for life
Reaching an all time low in my life. I made the decision to keep the site up
and running, and to continue to do what I was inspired to do on the site when.
The weeks of missing journal entries often reflecting times when I was
hospitalized, once for an entire month. You can bet that I wasn't broadcasting
any 'real live fucking' from my little room in the psyche ward, or the room
In the cardiac unit after my last attempt where they monitored my
vitals for over a week before I could have the all clear to come home.
Does being a 'porn star' make you all fucked up... absolutely not, I love this
part of my life, it has diddly to do with either my brain mis-chemistry or with
causing stressors. It's like my stress release. It's only very rarely when
someone writes me with something pissy to say that I get a little irked, and even
then, it's mild. I usually write them politely and say if it's not their brand of
eye and brain candy, to just go shop at one of the millions of other candy stores
out there. I let Wolfe write him back this time, I figured best just to distant myself from it.
So in some ways, this funny little cam show, or the one after it, where I didn't
take any captures, but the cam was running while Wolfe and I happened to do some
real life fucking. Was inspired by some cranky muse that Wolfe probably told to
take a flying fuck, I hope he was somewhat diplomatic. <smile>I know.. I'm a queer kind of a girl
In all senses of the word.
Get used to it...
or shop (or browse) elsewhere.
I'm not here to do what you like, I'm here to do what I like.
It's how I'm going to try to live my life, and I encourage you all to do the same.(By the way did you notice the blonde stubble with the blonde and barbie pink mohawk?)
(My hair changes just about weekly these days.)
XO
Katt