February 04

No's.  I had someone write to me recently and mention that they don't think I get told 'no', very often, but believe me, I do.

This weeks no's.  No more kickboxing until I see my family Dr.  I took my blood pressure twice this week and I'm in phase two hypertension, 160 over 107/109. Yuck.

No client last night, cancelled last moment to a fogged in flight.

No red pvc boots for Valentines, can't afford them, and can't find a single sub to buy them.  

Forget charging for pro services, most of the subbies in my life right now are people I see as lifestyle subs, and I don't ask anything from them because I know they can't afford it.  The one's that can afford it, both foot fetish guys, feel they shouldn't have to buy me presents.  For various reasons.  I don't make a very good ho <laugh>.  I'm -terrible- at getting money and gifts out of men, always have been, too used to be independent and paying my own way I guess.  Those women who get men to pay for everything with ease, amaze me, I have never ever attracted those kind of men into my life.  How do they do it?!?  One of the local Dommes I know has had all her furniture and most of the things in her life paid for by clients, and has an online money slave.  Despite my marketing attempts, that's a no go for me.  Maybe it's just not important enough to me, I'm not material enough.  I like nice things, but really, when it comes right down to it.  I could take it or leave it. I think somehow they sense my unease when I work up the moxy to ask for something, and so they say no.

Except the damn red pvc boots. <grin>  What am I going to wear to the Valentines play party?

I have come a long way though, thinking about footwear.  We grew up with so little money, that growing up I had one pair of runners, those cheap-o department store brand type ones, or 'tennis shoe' style runners, out of place in a neighborhood school where my classmates were rich preppies with designer label everything.  Then for my non-runner shoes, I used to wear those 3.99$ black cloth kung fu shoes from china town with the brownish red rubber soles.  <laugh>.  When I became an adult, and was buying my own footwear, I would buy second hand (still do), but for years into my twenties, it would be one pair of shoes only, under twenty dollars, and I would literally wear them till I had big holes in them, only then would I spring for a second pair.  Oh, the good old days of university and student loans.  Now I have shelves of shoes and boots, still mostly second hand, but a couple of new pairs.  I wonder if that is partially where my fetish for footwear comes from, and for sexy fun clothes, from the yearnings of a little girl for pretty feminine things, I could never have.  Now it seems I can never get enough!  So like the spoiled little girl I never was, and still don't really get to be, though I'm still striving towards it <laugh>, I'm pouting over my red thigh high pvc boots.

I had a blast last night, taking pictures of Aya, I drew all over her front with children's non-toxic washable markers.

We took our time and drew flowers and vines and symbols, a necklace, tickly coloring everywhere, well -almost- everywhere. Then Aya had a shower, and after that her and I then drew all over her wife's back!

They are such beautiful girls.

Aya and I talked about how after she has her head shaved, and I shave mine, we should do henna designs on our bald heads, and on our bodies too, and have a henna application party.  Maybe I'll try and convince Kumi monster to come up and join in bald henna festivities.  That, would be quite the amazing photo shoot.  Big curvy bald girl, medium sized bald girl, and little Asian bald girl.  What we need is a really big black bald girl, and we'll have a multi size, multi ethnicity, bald girl party.

Then her wife put on some of my costume play clothes, a pair of faerie wings and a tulle crinoline, and a tutu, and played around.  She let me take photos of her, she's so beautiful, but is thinking on whether or not she'll let me share those on the site.  She's such a cutie! You can see her back here anyways, with her tattoos (the brighter parts, the outline of the star, and the righteous babe).

They make such a lovely couple.  So in love, and always so affectionate with one another, little kissy fish love bunnies.  Of course can you get more blessed than having two friends who are ultra real, communicative, caring, honest, sexy, adventurous, kinky, and who like to get naked in your loft?  Dress up in wild and crazy clothes.  One who likes to vamp in front of the camera.  Both who like to cuddle and tease.  Playful, confident young women with a life full of adventure ahead of them.  They pour sunshine into the room when they come over, corny, but true.  They always leave happy energy behind them, especially when they make out in my bed <grin>.  

They have plans to move out of the city soon the poopers, so I'm going to miss them like crazy, but they want to go farm and have goats, so, they're young and strong, and they should go farm and have goats.  <smile>.

Me, I'm going to go have cereal and a nap.

Ciao!

 

Leila

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