January 25

Well, the photo shoot last night was a lot of fun, the images today are all from last night, we started out shooting in the tub, me with not make-up in all my latest weight gain glory, I've never been so big.  My tummy looks utterly pregnant!  But before we started the shoot proper we had to kick the dogs out of the bathroom.  I wanted tea lights all around the tub, and they were knocking them over.

They are the cutest boys.  They  both love the bath so much.  They get frantic with hope whenever I run the tub.  They're such little lovies, my dogs make me so happy!

We finally got set up with all the little candles, and started photographing, the water was so hot it was steaming, luckily didn't fog up the camera lens.

See what I mean by feeling like I look pregnant, the ones where I'm laying on my back, that is some big round belly! Some lucky women gain weight in their breasts, I gain thighs, butt, belly, and upper back/arms.  We did a series of foot photos in the bath as well.  The candle light gave everything a golden creamy glow, I didn't photo edit the pictures at all, just cropped and sized for the galleries.

After the bath I put on major make-up and the blue and black satin teddy and some high heeled pumps and we did a second shoot on the bed.

I did a shoot for the main BBW site, Erotimania, and also another foot shoot. One with pumps, and one with bare feet. So my pedicure got adequate exposure after all <grin>.

This outfit hid my tummy a bit, but there was no denying my butt!

So the proximity to the camera did distort it some, but still, woah! Baby's got back!  I actually don't mind my giant ass one iota.  I have less cellulite now than I did 50 pounds ago, I guess the fat under there has stretched it all out.  I still have some, but not as much.  

It's odd, but it's my belly that bothers me when I'm heavier, though some profess to adore it.  That and the weight around my chin and neck, drives me bananas.  I know I'd look totally bizarre at this weight with no belly and no chin/neck/face fat, but I'd disproportion myself that way if I could, giant ass and thighs and all. <grin>. Over all though, I really do love myself, and my body at all weights.  I think women of all sizes and shapes are gorgeous.  My main concern now is getting back into a state of physical health, getting active again.  I had a dream last night where I was running and jogging, and had the best runner's high, the endorphin's where flying and it was effortless, I felt full of life and energy, and I was just running and running, and the world around me was beautiful, beaches, and neighborhoods with exquisite houses. I think it was my body, mind, spirit, longing for physical health.  I'm ready to return to the dojo, and face all the trials and tribulations that await me there.  I'm getting pretty clear on that.

So here's today's little Buddhist quote:

He whose senses are steadied
like stallions
well-trained by the charioteer,
his conceit abandoned,
free of effluent,
Such:
even devas adore him.

Like the earth, he doesn't react--
cultured,
Such,
like Indra's pillar,
like a lake free of mud.
For him
--Such--
there's no traveling on.

-Dhammapada, 7, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

 

Leila

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