February 28th - Hair dilemma's

Well... I have no idea now what I'm going to do, about my hair.  ARGH!!!!!

There are a zillion things I could be writing about today, but this is it. the hair thang.

Part of meeting, connecting, and falling in love with barbie has really brought me back to discovering aspects of my self, and wanting to feel like me, totally, and completely.  When I started to really center in that feeling the other week, I went *BOOM* have to shave my head now... overwhelming sense of wanting to be stubbly sheared as that is what I identified with as being me. So I decided to set a date, to shave it all off on the cam.

Well then... It started to shift. 

barbie loves to pull my hair, she yards my head around by my hair, she pulls me in for kisses by my hair, she rips tiny groups of baby hairs off the nape of my neck with her teeth, she runs her strong hands through it... she loves hair.  She's always loved hair.  So she was peeved, but understood when I said I needed to shave it.  Then she insisted, she had to be the one to shave it...

Well then.. it started to shift.

She got into wanting to shear it off, into the aspect of the scene a bit.  Of taking my hair from me.

And then... plans went awry and we had to cancel those arrangements.

And now... I can't decide at all, I'm totally torn.  I love what barbie does with/to my hair/head/me... and I'll miss it horribly, and think I can't shave it now.  Then on the other hand, she'll say something out of the blue, about how she'd like to take it from me, my hair.  This morning, after a laughing to herself, and I asked her what she was thinking, she kindly shared the thought she was having of what fun it might be to staple gun my hair to the floor and then shave my head with a straight razor while I'm pinned... and I ask myself.. what the hell did I get myself into (with this big ass scared happy grin on my face)

So, the hair is in limbo again, for all of you who are asking.  I don't know when it's going, or how, and if it does, whether we'll record/broadcast it or not... It may end up being a private moment.

Time will tell..

XO Katt