February 24th - Before I arrive...
Trying to pump myself up for all of it... the unexpected. Flux.
What you do to me. Canceling my commitments, tossing obligations aside like used tissues. Do you take for granted your beck and call?
Does it mean to you, what it means to me. Are you just enjoying the game of it... that's okay too.
I wonder at the expectations of the days events, of where your needs fit into mine.
You want me in the deconstruction of your space, your home, your past, with all it's elements live and static swirling around me, as you decide what you carry with you into the future and in what volumes, how much of what was, integrates with what is, and what will be, and in what ways. So I sit here and take a moment, just a little moment for me. Though even as I do it, I know I'm sharing it.. here now.
This moment for me, what do I want, what do I do.. all that melts away into the awareness that there is only, and only ever will be, what is, simply and surely, what is.. and all I want to do is center myself in the me that is and be it. After all it's what we're all the very best at being, the being, just being.. is and am, and will be... what can you know except what is.
Find myself, so I can bring it to you.. whole and strong.
That's what I'm doing now.
XO
Katt