November 14th - Blah blah blah..
Today:
Mmmmmmm.... I love the happy feeling of two pints of Kilkenny in my system. Just home from a long work day, followed by an early movie and a pub visit with a co-worker/friend involving sharing some hot wings, Caesar salad.. and yummy beer.
Very cool girl, pretty, articulate, intelligent, open minded, Australian chick with a good strong attitude and personality, and a penchant for talking about her sexuality and gossip.. fun. I had a good time. Though it's been so long since I've been out and social with someone I'm not sleeping with, that I felt a bit awkward... weird eh?. I think I'm always a bit awkward with people I'm not deeply deeply close with.. it's like I'm not entirely comfortable with casual relationships.. there's this part of me that longs for deep connections. Luckily she's one of these people that seems to be very naturally social and outgoing, making it easy on me and my awkward social fumblings.
Let's face it, if I was available, and she wasn't leaving the country... I'd entertain the possibility of trying to date her... but she's off soon for more grand adventures abroad, and another female to be her first female lover, I'm sure of it. (If you're reading this... and I know you do on occasion, best of luck, and no regrets!... It's all good... and I want to hear all about everything via icq!).
General sex stuff:
this
picture is from the other night... and I have to tell you. I get totally
into submissive space in the best possible way.
It's so hard to explain to someone who hasn't gone there... why and how it can feel so good.
It's hard when people look at you and squirm uncomfortably around something, thinking wow, that must be really unpleasant, when it's so so good and so erotic. It really basically comes down to trust I think. The only thing I can say is don't knock it until you try it, and try it properly with the right person in the right circumstances.
Bring on the blindfolds, the handcuffs, the ropes, the spankings... smother me gently with a pillow, play with me roughly.. whisper gentle nasty horrible things in my ear, call me names... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I absolutely love love love, that feeling of my partner getting aroused as I get increasingly vulnerable and increasingly aroused. It's like some primal power play where everything fits into place. Like many species.. humans have hierarchical, dominance and submissive dynamics. We have them in all places, in our class system, in our workplaces.. and of course, in the bedroom. If you think we're above all that 'alpha dog' stuff.. you're wrong. Look at our closest cousins, the other primates, and the power dynamics of social interactions there... When you accept that it happens in our species, in all of your relationships, one way or another, and don't judge it as good or bad, but just play with it.. it can be a good place to be. and never never underestimate the power in the role of the submissive.. every individual in the pack, has a an important place.
Why do we as a species, as a society.. repress so much of what we actually are? Why do we insist on some fabricated conventions of behavior which are often a total facade.. why are we afraid of the beast within? I think a lot of that driving away of and repressing of the 'unacceptable' sides of humanity to the general population is what creates some of our more dangerous citizens.
Okay enough of that.. (what you expect a high level of cohesion after two pints?.. I have a low tolerance for alcohol)
Love Relationships:
Ty and bi-boy, I love you.
I totally and completely adore you.
I can be difficult, I get scared and withdrawn. I can be intense and emotional. I can be closed and distant or intense and needy. I'm all over the place.. I'm a Gemini. I'm very strong and very weak all at the same time. I'm very flexible, very adaptable.. and very here.
I love you, I enjoy being with you. Be patient with me... m'kay?... <kiss>
Alrighty then.. thats' enough, short and sweet and time for me to relax.
XOX
Katt