November 6th - Weekend bliss

Had a very very very lovely weekend.  

Friday night was the local poly meet - where other folx like me into multiple partner relationships or other forms of respectful non-monogamy get together to chat. Lots of interesting people and interesting discussions.  It was also the first night we really got together again with Ty and bi-boy since they've been back from their vacation.  Could feel a bit of awkwardness, things still feeling a bit 'tight'... but overall, just nice to share some time and space together.  Different energy from when we had gone to the meet before, could definitely feel some barriers in place... partly unsure of where we're at with one another, and also the presence of a friend of theirs who had tagged along for the night.  Happy company all around though.

Saturday night we reconnected to get together for dinner and then go to a poly party/ friends b-day party.  We all had dinner together, yummy sushi, but then Ty elected to go her separate way and have a quiet night in, while the boys and I moved on to party central.  It was a very interesting evening.  Lots of flirtations.. some interesting party games.  One game involved 3 people sitting on the couch blindfolded, and then three people behind them, would take turns nibbling their earlobes.  The blindfolded nibblees then had to guess the order of the nibblers.  It was very  amusing to watch the reactions of the nibblees and to see who thought whom had nibbled in what order.  I laughed often, and spent a happy round as a nibbler.  I love to be able to go to a party and flirt with just about anyone and have it be okay.  No one uptight... just lots of friendly open minded folx.  Missed Ty's presence.  

It takes some mental re-wiring sometimes for me when starting a new relationship because I have patterns of interaction that I'm used to with Wolfe that don't apply. 
It's pretty unusual for Wolfe and I to spend free time apart, and though we do do social/leisure etc, things separately at times, for the most part, we tend to prefer to be together.  Ty is a much more independent person than either Wolfe or I, and seems to really value a lot of personal time.  It hasn't been upsetting or anything for me that that's the case, but it's almost a feeling of, mixed surprise/concern that becomes my immediate reaction.  I tend to wonder if everything is okay with her, and that she's doing okay.  I guess part of me associates going off on your own with something not being right, and I always have to take that initial immediate reaction, shelve it, and reassure myself that she's doing what works for her. Things may be 'okay' or 'not okay' but it's not my place to challenge the choices.  

Sunday day Ty and I spent some time browsing stores and hanging out together, I cleaned out my closet of old clothes, brought some into consignment to re-sell, and dropped most of it off at our local women's shelter. I'll probably see a lot of my own clothes on other people wandering my neighborhood, as the shelter is right next door to the building I live in.   I think it would be rather surreal to walk out into the cold grey windy world and see another woman wearing the long off-white dress I got married in.. flowing down the street.  I think it would make me smile. Something about the permanent and transitory nature of the world.. that everything you do, sends out ripples from you... an article of clothing, an image, an idea. All coming from somewhere.. they go somewhere.. they circulate.. they transform.. change over time.. nothing ever destroyed, only changing form.  So physics and psychics would tell us.  The fascinating story of things. The story of my dress... somewhere in India, someone wove the fabric for that dress, some else made that dress, somehow it traveled here, to the store I bought it in, I eloped in it, wore it a few times.. it's now in the woman's shelter, waiting for another adventure... before that it was what?... cotton plants?, before that seed.. earth, sun, water.. how far back or forward we could go in that story, infinitely.  Everything, everything around you has a story like that, and not just the material things.  We are all infinitely insignificant, and likewise, infinitely powerful, as a part in the great cyclical mobius strip of life and the 'all'.  Powerful stuff.. don't forget it, you're connected.  Connected to it all.  Don't underestimate neither your power, nor your insignificance.

After my cosmic clothes clean out.. we all went out for dinner together, and then retired back at our place for a good long cuddle, and then some really really amazing sex.  Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.   Most of it off cam, though we were on for a little bit at the end, and Wolfe pulled a few snaps.  You can see the amazing differences in skin tone, both Ty and bi-boy were tanned from holidays.. but bi-boy looks positively coffee coloured.. maybe it's not all the sun, but the adage about 'you are what you eat' is starting to have an effect.. the boy loves coffee.  Maybe it should be coffee boy instead of bi-boy... nah... I could be wrong, but I think he loves sex too.  Then post sex cold pasta leftovers from dinner were consumed, followed by a bag of jalapeno chips... food always tastes that much better after sex... or when camping, or best of all after sex when camping.

Seasons

My lovers are seasons...
I lay in summers arms, quiet, full, round... fall's harvest
and you, You are my summer

safe and familiar, the warmth in your eyes and your heart
Indian summer
overlapping into me, warming me
in your arms... I feel ripe

I feel your embrace behind me, around me
and in front of me... all I see is winter
beautiful, distant, cold, just beyond my reach
I brush her at her very beginning

Winter you dazzle me, mesmerize me
Snow queen
Still, silent, sacred... The womb from which all seasons gestate
Cold on the outside.. fire burns inside

I feel somehow powerless.. because unlike summer 
perhaps I haven't the right heat to melt you
yet I am the season that bridges the gap between
That and spring, sweet spring

My counter point
Spring, he plants the seeds I sow
Spring, the one I always know
So alike, him and I... our temperate temperaments

Spring and fall, crossing, and enfolding
fertile and strong
As my days grow short
his grow long

My lovers are seasons...

XOX
Katt

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P.S. Chat program details - For those accessing me through chat in the members area:  Just a little note here at the end, about our chat program... The nice thing about this program, is when I'm not available for chat, it has the option of allowing you to leave a message for me, which I get in the form of an email.  A lot of people seem to think that the program is broken, or something, when I'm in front of the camera, they see me, yet when they access the chat they get the message taker instead of the chat program.  Just because I'm home and in front of the camera, or even on the computer does not mean I'm available for chat.  If you want to leave me a message fine, but please don't email me asking me to chat.  If I was available for chat, the chat program would be up, alerting me when you accessed it, and I'd respond, if that doesn't happen, it's because I can't chat at that moment.