esa

always moving with purpose even when the goal is to relax

everything you do with a focus

even your confusions have clarity

and a kind of ease

so many directions in one singularity

I find myself watching you

often

and it filling me with a light eager happy warmth...

somewhere between oatmeal and champagne

and I feel a little afraid

knowing it likely

that I'll want too much of you, that I'll want the unreasonable things

my head filled with simple silly fantasies

like

rolling out of a very full large bed to quiet a fussy baby that came from your womb

watching you in the garden and bringing you something cold to drink

from our kitchen

being a family

and I think of all the complications

societal hurdles

the unlikeliness of so big and perfect an embrace to enfold me

but I know still, that I can be happy

If you let me watch you

often

 just being you, letting me be me...

allowing me

my longings

and meeting me where you will