Love is hard. Love is about wanting the best for someone, I believe. Wanting to encourage them to grow and to be everything they can, to support them to fulfill their hearts and their desires. To help them explore and expand who and what they are. I have in my life, a very special relationship... with a little being I love dearly, my dog. Cinder.
She is loyal, and loving, gentle... and often shadows me around my home, laying close to me as I sit here typing... curled up on the futon behind me now.
Dogs are amazing creatures, versatile, intelligent... and loving to a fault. I've made a really hard decision yesterday, to post an add to find another home for Cinder. We've had her for two years, and we love her dearly. But if love is not just an emotion, but an act... then she deserves more than what we can give her. She seems content enough, living in our little apartment, and dozes much of the time, and chews happily on her toys. But what we've found, is that since we had to sell our vehicle last fall because we could no longer afford it, and since it doesn't seem likely we will be in a financial position to afford either a vehicle or a larger home for quite some time.. the result has been that our dog rarely gets the exercise she needs.
There are not many places we can really run her well, or even really walk her, (not without a muzzle anyways... as per the local bylaws regarding pitbulls.. which she is, she's also worked as a therapy dog with challenged adults, and the only dog I've seen curl up with a cat at her belly, while a budgie sits on her head trying to pull the hairs out of her ears and not move a muscle except for the soft gentle thumping of her tail) The laws here require she walks with one in public parks.. a muzzle, and with her gentle submissive nature... and the heat of the summer (she can't pant properly through a muzzle) I can't bear to break her into one.
So wanting what I want for everyone I love, to have her have the opportunities that will give her the most option for her own health, growth and happiness... we've decided to try to find a better home for her. It may take some time, as she needs to go to a very special home, and unfortunately many people looking for a pitbull... are not looking for a dog like Cinder, and are not homes we would want to place her in. It's hard, and the thought of not having her here every day to greet me, pains me... but I know in the long run, it will be what is best for all.
Everyone wish me luck for finding her the best of homes... if you have a dog you'll know what I mean... she's my baby.
XOX
Katt