Pain, people and puppies.

Just had my second session of massage therapy. It wasn’t as pleasant to recieve today. I was more sore and tender, and a lot of it was uncomfortable for me. I could still feel it working and so far afterwards I’m feeling some loosening and relief, so I think it was still as therapeutic as last time, but not as pleasant. Different therapist this time. I’ll try to stick with appointments from the same therapist that saw me the first time.   When you have fibro touch is painful.  I’ve become more accustomed to greater touch sensitivity, but hurt still hurts… I’ll have to see what the next few days bring.

Also had my lovely morning swim with my friend. We’re going regularly weekday mornings, and it’s been helping with the fibro too. Today was no actually swimming though.. lol. Too sore and tired, but just getting weightless and having a chance to really soak my muscles in the hot tub was goooooood.  I can’t wait to get a hot tub for at home too. Wolfe got a load of free bricks yesterday and we can work on making a platform for the tub. Which is step one towards getting a tub… We’re keeping our eyes peeled for a freebie that would work for us. Going to check out financing for a new one too, just in case the savings on running a new model would be equal to making payments on a new model.

Still happily taking a break from as many potential stressor sources as possible. It was funny though because this morning my friend was saying that she saw I was back on FetLife, and I’m like…er.. no. She then got worried thinking someone was using my account because she saw me adding friends.  I know from my e-mail announcements what was going on. People accepting my friends requests that I made during the days I was on the account, every few hours I would blitz out a few friend requests to friends. A lot of my friends are very intermittent computer users and are only checking into FetLife and accepting my requests now.  So it shows up on my activities as friending even in my abscene. LOL. So I reassured her, no one is using my account, not even me. Just people who haven’t logged on for a while coming across my old friend requests.

So in case anyone else is confused… still not there. Eventually I suppose I should peek back in, as from my email notifications I can tell the inbox is piling up, and there are a whack of friend requests waiting too. *sigh* I just don’t think I’m in a strong enough place yet to wade through the inevitable crap that’s there waiting as well.

I want to make sure I’m in a good place to deal with that stuff. So that I can come from a place of peace, forgiveness, and strength.  I’m not there right now.  Too much turmoil from my own body issues, etc.  I’m not strong enough to placidly accept the crap and then not spread it around.  I don’t want to get dragged down in the muck and end up reacting in ways that albiet are likely karmically well deserved on the end of the recipients, are not my task to dole out.  I just need to steer clear.  Keep taking care of myself and my family for a while.  Keep the focus tight and positive.

I have enough other hurts to deal with, I don’t need to go nosing around for more.

I’ve been avoiding other negative media too, news, etc. Really just giving myself a chance to breath.

Speaking of breathing, I have 6 growing, eating, and pooping puppies right now… and from that smell, I can tell it’s time to go clean the puppy room!

Live in Love