Pain, plants and progress.

It’s a challenging day so far. I’m having a lot of pain and weakness still.

I had to go out yesterday just for a very short bit, for my mental/emotional health, though it was a strain on my body. We took a very short trip to Minter Garden’s garden store, and looked at all the lovely things for inspiration. It was a short walk through before I had to leave, but it was nice just to be out. We can’t afford much right now, so we’re looking for freebies for the garden, but it was still nice to browse even though we didn’t purchase from there.   Today so far I’ve just been in my recliner all day, except for once up to feed the puppies. I grabbed myself some cooked shrimp, bag and all, from the fridge, but it wouldn’t stay down and is now sitting in the glass beside me.. ick.

I didn’t have the ability to make it to the bathroom to chuck it up. Eating can be difficult sometimes when I have a lot of pain, and the fibro seems to directly affect the functioning of my whole digestive system. Really, it fucks up everything in me.

I usually have to go for soft mild foods, soup, yogurt, ice cream, all seem to go down and stay down fine. Since it’s comforting and pleasing and the sugar gives me a false sense of energy, ice cream is often my big indulgence during a flare up. Probably not the best option. I should substitute with berry protein smoothies… but thoes take work to make, as opposed to ice cream which take grabbing the container and a spoon!

I looked into things like ‘ensure’, but really, you might as well just eat ice cream and pop a vitamin… it’s sugar and protein and  fat and vitamins and minerals.  That’s my logic anyways in rationalizing and justifying my comfort food.

Wolfe suggested looking into meals on wheels, but I don’t want to do that. If I can’t get up to eat I’d rather have a bunch of protien bars beside the bed and/or recliner and a big jug of water, than waste resources for those that really need it. Besides he’s only gone for 8 hours, it’s not like I’m going to die if I don’t eat during the day. I have plenty of storage going on in my butt!

So I didn’t get to go to Mayhem, the big women’s leather even in Vancouver this weekend. I was registered, but had to stay home. My friends and my girl are there, and I hope they are having an amazing time, and I can’t wait to hear all the stories.

Right now, dreaming of the garden is good… dreaming of lots of flowering things, edible things, yummy smelling things, things that attract birds and butterflies, fish ponds, chicken coops, back decks and hot tubs!!! Ah… I need to buy a lottery ticket… lol!

If you have something in your garden you don’t want, or can split… bring it to me please! we have a lot of garden we want to fill. I need to work on creating a sanctuary here for me… finish the dungeon, make the yard more usable, so since going out is hard for me, I can entertain here.  I can enjoy my home and my garden and invite my friends to join me.

Cash is the problem, but we’re scouring for freebie bricks and blocks and pavers and plants… and those things come up for free often, so it’s just a matter of planning and patience… and I can do that.

Live in Love!