trying to sort it out…

Leila Raven Posted in General
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When I look at half the rumours started about me and others, it seems much of the time those lies are actually based on people having mistaken assumptions and perceptions. People look at a situation, and fill in the blanks… incorrectly.  I guess I just don’t understand why people jump to negative conclusions about others and their motivations.  I guess it makes sense to them in someway. I tend to assume the best of people until proven otherwise. Respect is given as an automatic until someone erodes away at it. I don’t hold grudges. I’m not generally suspicious of people, I tend to think good of others.

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Focusing on beauty

Leila Raven Posted in General
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One of the things in life that brings me great joy is beauty.  Beauty is an interesting concept. It can refer to something very superficial and commercial, especially in our modern era where beauty is made a commodity.  But for me beauty is a deep and complex concept… yet very simple, all at the same time.

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Mad world

Leila Raven Posted in General
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I was scared there for a little bit, started to slide back into the abyss, and was worried I was going to fall and fall and fall. Loved ones helped pull me through, and some medication changes too. It’s amazing what chronic pain can do to your brain sometimes.  I’m still not feeling great, but I’m feeling steady… stablized, remarkably safe, considering the pain, the depression, the anxiety.

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Taking emotional inventory

Leila Raven Posted in General
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It feels weird, to be cut off from FetLife. I’d pretty much moved all my blogging there over the last little while. There is many things about the FetLife community that I miss, and hopefully I’ll be able to go back to it when I’m feeling better. Wolfe is helping me do good self care and my access to websites that have the potential to upset or trigger me have all gone bye-bye lol. So If I try to pull up those sites on my browser I just get blank pages.  Is all that really necessary? … er, yes.  Might as well grasp the full fact now, I’m a grown adult incapable of caring for myself properly, there you have it.

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Depression, and thankfullness

Leila Raven Posted in General
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I’m struggling right now. I have to be honest. The pain doesn’t let up, the exhaustion doesn’t let up, life stressors don’t let up…

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