Birthday gifts both days, and other gifts… so many gifts. I gave and received a lot this weekend. The birthdays were of two very amazing and special women, both turning 50, were celebrated in our community this weekend. It gave me the opportunity to do some artwork to gift, and have some focus and inspiration. I love people, and nothing in my life inspires me more than the lives of all those that touch me in some way every day.

I feel overwhelmingly blessed with people in my life right now. I feel so much love and acceptance that I’m starting to feel afraid and panicky. I wonder why part of my self is wounded and has such a hard time believing that I can be truly cared for by other people. I don’t want to worry about rejection, or being stabbed in the back, about betrayal, and pain. I don’t want to give power to those things by any possible anticipation of them. How do I give completely, totally, how I’m meant to give and love, how I yearn to give and love, and still take care of self?… Can’t love be a safe cradle… and not a fall off a cliff?… Have I finally learned how to connect with people that will give back and not chew me up and spit me out?

Sometimes I feel like a snake in a world of snake charmers. I’m mesmerized and tantalized by people…