Day 50 of a year of giving…

Leila Raven Posted in General
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I gave up.

Well, let me explain. I’m not giving up on my year of giving. Or my life of giving for that matter. I’ve decided though that I’m not going to blog about it anymore.

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Day 47 & 48

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I’ve been struggling a bit with pain and energy this week. It’s made it hard to focus and motivate. We donated to the food bank both days when picking up stuff from the grocery store, rather, Wolfe donated on our behalf.  I’ve been home bonding with my sofa. 🙂

Days 43, 44, 45, and 46…

Leila Raven Posted in General
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Of a year of giving.

It’s been a busy crazy bustling wild week. There were lots of little giving opportunities each and every day that I found, however, with my memory, and my energy, and not recording them daily. Most of them have slipped away from my memory now.

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Day 42 of a year of giving.

Leila Raven Posted in General
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I gave time to help support a member of my depression group with her goals. We went for a walk together, and then I bought her a tea.

I also gave an open offer of help and support to a friend I’m missing and concerned for.

Day 41 of a year of giving.

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I gave someone in group help with goal setting.

I gave a sweet little boy some toys and books that I had looking for a good home.

I donated my change at Walmart to guide dogs for the visually impaired.

Day 40 of a year of giving.

Leila Raven Posted in General
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I gave a statement of intent/interest to adopt a beautiful big snake. Can’t take her home today, but we’re going to build her an enclosure hopefully and woo the reptile rescue lady and hopefully have her home in a few months. (big 6ish foot big beautiful 30lb boa – she’s so strong – needs two people to really control her).

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Day 38 & 39 of a year of giving.

Leila Raven Posted in General
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Yesterday when we went through the McDonalds drive through in a mad rush we noticed underneath the take out window they  have a charity box for local children’s charity and we dumped all our car change. Just like store cashiers, any cash register area, even a take out window, will often have donation boxes for charity if you look you’ll find those giving opportunities, every bit counts, so even if you just want to unload pennies that are clogging up your parking change cache.

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Day 36 & 37 of a year of giving

Leila Raven Posted in General
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More friends foraging through the clothes pile (now small and no longer giant) and through the shoe pile. 🙂

Day 35 of a year of giving

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Today I explored the Ordinary People Change the World site, where they have different ways you can give. Can you give a dollar?

🙂

Day 34 of a year of giving

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Today’s gift was super secret… sorry *smile*

Day 33 of a year of giving

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Today for our anniversary I gave Wolfe two hours in which I would do whatever he wanted…. I won’t tell you exactly what he got. I will tell you I was gifted in the process with the best orgasm I’ve had in several YEARS. I was crying and screaming and… well, hell. What else can I say. I might as well tell the world… the people that live on my block already know.

Hallelujah.. the system is fully functional… It’s just a matter of finding the right buttons to push. Problem is I think my orgasmic response is like a combination lock, and every time it’s opened up the damn combination resets to a new combination. In other words.. I need variety.. AND familiarity in the mix of alchemy, and hell. Okay. I can’t think and I’m over analyzing which is a bad combination.

My body is still vibrating, my cunt is still swollen and throbbing, and my cheeks are still tear stained. ’nuff said.

big smile

Day 31 and 32 of a year of giving

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Birthday gifts both days, and other gifts… so many gifts. I gave and received a lot this weekend. The birthdays were of two very amazing and special women, both turning 50, were celebrated in our community this weekend. It gave me the opportunity to do some artwork to gift, and have some focus and inspiration. I love people, and nothing in my life inspires me more than the lives of all those that touch me in some way every day.

I feel overwhelmingly blessed with people in my life right now. I feel so much love and acceptance that I’m starting to feel afraid and panicky. I wonder why part of my self is wounded and has such a hard time believing that I can be truly cared for by other people. I don’t want to worry about rejection, or being stabbed in the back, about betrayal, and pain. I don’t want to give power to those things by any possible anticipation of them. How do I give completely, totally, how I’m meant to give and love, how I yearn to give and love, and still take care of self?… Can’t love be a safe cradle… and not a fall off a cliff?… Have I finally learned how to connect with people that will give back and not chew me up and spit me out?

Sometimes I feel like a snake in a world of snake charmers. I’m mesmerized and tantalized by people…