Today I gave at the Small Things Challenge

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Today I gave Wolfe a new big screen TV. He’s been wanting one for a long time.

I gave cookies to a king, posies to a princess, and a spanking to a piglette.

honest.

Tonight we ordered in pizza. I’m normally a generous tipper, but tonight I added an extra 5$ to the tip. The delivery guy seemed happy.

_Another_ day of gifting clothes. I had another friend in today looking through the big pile. She had a daughter with her that I gifted some unopened makeup too, and a few dolls I had in the garage. When I was in the garage getting the dolls I realized I’d overlooked a box of clothes in the garage. Lucky coincidence or fate in action, the clothes in the box were mostly all her size, and… there were some beautiful corsets in it. So even though the giant pile was well picked through there was a hidden box of treasures just waiting for her.

I loved having some time around little children too. very nice. I’ve been so tired lately, but so happy.

Rounded the afternoon off with a matcha tea latte and a chocolate chip cookie, and I’m feeling very content.

More gifting of clothes, 4 big bags over the two days. Some of my favorite pieces went today, including a fabulous red satin corset. The friend that took a lot of the clothes today loves to do photo sets though, which is great, because I’ll get to see my stuff in ‘action’. LOL.

I had someone I gifted to ask why I didn’t mention my gift to them on my blog. Just so all my friends know, I’m not listing all my gifting is the only reason why. I’m trying to gift myself a harmonious balance between healthy pride and ‘ego’… lol. Not everything need be shared.

Today I’m giving myself permission to rest, to focus on myself, and to recouperate. It’s been the hardest gift I’ve had to give this year. Why does giving to myself feel like a cop out? I am as worthy as the next person of any gift I could give. I’m too sore to write a lot today, and it’s very har d for me to think clearly… pain in the body fibro fog in the mind. Today I gave myself permission to cry, and permission to ‘fail’.

I so want to do belly dancing… tonight is the first class, but my body hurts today. I feel like every fiber in my body is screaming at me not to go.

I want to dance… dancing is an expression of joy, but instead I’m crying right now. I’ve been doing a lot lately, a lot for me. Visiting with friends, going out for tea, shopping… not a lot right?… It’s taken a toll on my fibro and I’m having a bit of a flare.

Dammit though, I want a life. I don’t want to live on my couch! I’ve been having so much fun making new friends and shopping and having tea. I guess I need to just scale it back a bit, a little less shopping a little more tea. I already feel so inactive.

Great now I’m crying with the whole pity party inner voice whining at me ‘it’s not fair’. Well fuck it, life isn’t fair, my other gemini voice is saying ‘suck it up princess’.

Wolfe just brought me pain killers… and belly dancing class is in 5 hours. I’ll have to take personal inventory just before class and decide if I’m going to take the risk and go to class, and give this a try, or if I’m going to stay in.

If I have to choose between belly dancing classes, and shopping trips and tea with friends, I know I need the social interaction and friendships more than I need the dance classes… but I can’t help but feeling pissed that my current limitations might not allow me to have both.

I need to focus on being grateful for what I can and do have. I know I’m being over emotional… but that’s in part from the pain, pain kind of has a way of stripping you of your defenses and leaving you raw and exposed.

For Day 11 of a Day of giving I took the Vow. My gift is a vow of peace and non-violence.

I am number 12442 to take the vow.

From  itakethevow.com:

“First, close your eyes and put your awareness in your heart. You can easily focus on someone you love, and feel that love building in your heart, when you feel full of love, ask your self honestly and seriously if you are willing to commit to a vow of nonviolence, in your speech, your thoughts and your actions.

A vow is a sacred commitment from which there is no going back.  It is like a child that is born, who cannot return to the womb.

By committing to the vow, you also agree to have at least two people in their  lives take the vow.

Are you seriously committed to bringing about a world of peace, harmony, laughter and love by taking this vow and getting two people to join you?

If you are ready, please click below to enter your email to be counted as a part of our first 100 million people.

Take the vow now.”

I would also like to honour the person who passed the vow on to me, I first learned of the vow from my friend Gypsy, thank you Gypsy for passing the vow to me.

It was a big gifting day for me. I had accumulated a _lot_ of clothes that either no longer fit, or suited, me. I had been putting off dealing with it because my original plan was re-sell ebay and/or consignment, maybe garage sales. This year though is going to go a little different for me since I’ve decided to undertake this giving project.

So, I had three girlfriends coming by today for us all to go thrift shopping (so I know they don’t mind second hand clothes) I know I have a wack of stuff within their size ranges. So together myself and my first guest to arrive dragged the heaps and heaps of clothes out of the garage out where they could sort through it. I managed to gift away 4 big bags overflowing with clothes. It feels good that some of my favorite clothes that would make me feel so good in the past are going to be worn and loved by someone else. I had some great vintage pieces, some fetish wear, some nice lingerie, corsets, lots of clothes.

I still have a lot of clothes left, if anyone wants to come sift through the big pile, let me know soon, because I’m going to start freecycling the rest soon.

Hmmmm, maybe I should have one of those parties where everyone brings all the clothes they don’t want and we all look through one another’s stuff… any takers on a ‘clothes exchange’ party?

I also gifted some make-up kits I had, and I got to paint the face of a pretty girl.

I think I was able to give a few gifts in the way of supporting some people I care about emotionally today though that were even more significant than pretty dresses and lacey and satiny corsets.

Tonight we took a friend out for dinner, I hummed and hawed over having it be one of my acts of giving, because really we alternate with them around going out for dinner. I hesitated, and then decided no, It counted. LOL. The fact that she’s taken us for dinner before, and likely will again, and we’ve taken her for dinner before and likely will again shouldn’t make a difference. It’s also a gift even if you know it’s a ritualized part of a relationship of exchanging gifts.  Besides, I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a good gifting day… so I don’t mind beeing a little lax today.

I gave today in lots of little subtle ways.

I hunted down some funky frizzy yarn and made a little fuzzy pom pom tassle on a string to play with my kittens with. I played and played with them. I exhausted myself getting them to chase and attack, hunt and ‘kill’ the little flying moving creeping toy as I dragged it and teased with it and had it and them flying through the air.

I wrote back and forth all day to a new kinkster on FetLife who has some fetishes he hasn’t explored with anyone before. Just doing some very mild version of ‘cybering’ It’s not something I usually do.  It doesn’t really do anything for me, other than being nice for the other person, I don’t get ‘off’ on online play. Also so many people are looking all the time to play online that the instant response I have is to push those people away. Instead I’m giving some time to indulge his fantasies a bit and hopefully get him connected up with some others who are more into what he’s into.

Like each day of the year this year, I’ve been keeping an open heart/mind and eyes to watch out for giving opportunities to try to me more giving as a whole in all circumstances where it won’t deplete me to do so.  I firmly believe that there are countless opportunities to give that are open to us each and every day, if only we’re aware of them.  It’s about looking for opportunities, and not holding back, reaching out.

I also gave someone the benefit of the doubt. Often I fall in to the trap we all do, and make assumptions about people, their motivations, what is happening inside of them. The benefit of the doubt… assuming the best of someone, instead of assuming the worst. Sometimes people live up to our expectations, and we help create that reality.

Well we have people coming to pick up one of the beds tonight. The other should be going soon. Todays gift is for the birds… literally. I’ve gotten some meal worms and I’m putting live worms out for the birds for winter feed.  We have a little platform feeder attached to our shed, and I’ll put them on there in a steep sided dish so they don’t escape and the birds can find them. Tips on caring for birds in winter.

I’m looking at making my gift for next monday be giving blood. The mobile blood bank will be in town here next monday. Is anyone interested in getting together to donate blood?…  Stalkers may find me here on Monday. Let’s tap a vein together.