Coping and control
Well, I’ve been having a really bad flare up that’s been ongoing since the night I was in emergency a couple of weeks ago now. For a while I just kind of gave up to the pain and the fatigue and the overwhelming barrage of symptoms. I comforted myself with crappy junk food that was loaded with sugar and caffeine, giving me that false sense of energy and well being. Like spreading icing on a compost pile. Not really helpful.
I told myself that since I haven’t noticed any marked improvement or worsening with diet, why bother with a clean diet? Uh yeah. Well, I know for sure that a crappy diet is going to make some things worse. I know that it’s not going to make things better. I know that I don’t need any negative influencing factors on my health. I know food is one of the things I can and should control in terms of trying to improve my health. So I lied to myself for a couple of weeks to just ‘comfort eat’ a load of junk. I’ve given myself a little shake, and I’m back on track as of this weekend. Back to natural whole healthy foods. Avoiding the chemicals, the processed food, the sugar, the wheat, the artificial sweetners, the artificial anything.
I also have been telling myself I’m too sore to swim. Which is crazy. I know that even if I am really to sore to swim, going and just ‘floating’ for a while and gently stretching and moving my body in the water is going to benefit me, give me a break from gravity and take the pressure off my body. Also alternating from the hot tub or the sauna into the cool water seems to soothe and relax my body.
What happened, what happens, is I get overwhelmed with my symptoms, and I get ‘paralyzed’ I don’t want to do anything because I fear aggravating my condition. The problem is, then I stop ‘living’, my life becomes the computer, the television, and food.
What I don’t want to happen in that circumstance is let food become part of the recreation, because that is going to make things worse. I need to focus on diet as something I can use to cope in a positive fashion, something I can use to optimize my health. Even if I don’t find diet to have an impact on my fibro symtpoms or my IBS I still need to see my health and my wellbeing as something that is bigger than how it impacts what disorders I have. I have my general health to think of, I need to do what I can to support my body, my health, my wellbeing, as best I can. That is eating well.
I did go swimming again, day before yesterday. Thursday night. I wanted to wait to go back until a day where Wolfe had the next couple of days off, in case I had a major pain/symptom backlash from the swimming. Thankfully, the exercise did what it’s meant to do, and I felt better yesterday and today than I have had for the last couple of weeks. I know I need to start going again, every other day, every day if I can manage it. So tomorrow swimming needs to be on the menu.
But that’s enough out of me. Too much writing today, and the hands and arms and shoulders.. sore.