Some may see it as weakness, not to ‘fight’. For me, it’s a decision about what is best for my own health and well being, physical, mental and emotional.

We’ve decided to shut down all events by Raven’s Retreat until further notice. I don’t think we’ll re-open to public events, but you never know, never say never, which is why we chose ’till further notice’. Than a total closure.

There is a very fractured and volatile kink community here in BC, and behind smiling friendly faces, people have done nasty horrible things to others.

There are people in the community, that have hurt many friends of mine, have hurt many vulnerable submissives, and have hurt me. I’m not going to name names, play the blame game, or even disclose specific actions. I don’t want to empower these people or dis-empower them.  I don’t want to go into details of who did what to whom and why.  It is no secret to many that there are competitive, greedy, and self focused people among us who will hurt or use, sabotage, lie, do anything and everything they can, if they feel it will benefit them in their own goals.  I cannot stand against these people, I don’t want to be a part of these ‘games’, of people using other people, organizations, legal channels, etc, etc, to manipulate to meet their own ends.

It doesn’t matter if I’m in the right, and they’re in the wrong. If I get drawn into proving myself, and in the process bring them down.. I’m still engaging in some kind of fight, and the community loses out, and I don’t want any part of it. I have voluntarily shut my services down. No parties, no pro-domination, no educational events.

Honestly, I don’t think these people are ‘bad’ people. I think they’re a little lost, I think they’ve gotten so focused on their goals and/or needs, that they’ve lost track of life’s big picture. They’ve gotten caught up in the money and/or power game, and in the process, lost the genuine connections to people that often happens as an expense of that.  I feel in some ways, they are their own worst victims.

I’m withdrawing from any form of ‘perceived’ power position in this community. What I love about the kink community, is the diversity, the acceptance of alternative desires, relationships, dynamics between people. It’s about alternative loving, passion, play, exploration. It’s about creating things, building experiences. Positives. I don’t want to be involved, pulled into, a destructive process.

Right now, our local community seems to be tainted with some people who feel in order to create they need to alternately destroy or take away from others. For those reading who feel you may know who I’m talking about and make inferences, please don’t.  I will continue to treat everyone with respect, and good will. I sincerely hope that all the current venues locally thrive and continue to supply places for community to gather and to play. I may not respect everything they have done in order to create, promote, or maintain what they do, but I respect that they do provide needed spaces and services. These are essentially good people, who have made some bad choices. I don’t necessarily dislike them, but some of their actions and motives.

The public, the players, should not be ‘punished’ by feeling they need to take sides, or boycott, or become political, because of the actions of others in the community. My advice is to do your best NOT to be pulled into the politics, the power plays, the drama. Do your best and what it takes to remain positive and powerful in your own personal interactions. Continue to create the joy and the good that exists in the community, by your own personal integrity. I’m hoping to get out to venues, and just ‘be’ in the scene, without being involved in much of the nastiness behind it.

For now, going to focus on health, happiness, friendships, and how I can create the lifestyle I would like to lead, without inviting unwanted drama into it.. can it be done? I don’t know. I may need new lifestyle plans.  In fact, I know I need new lifestyle plans, just waiting for all the dust in my life to settle, to see what pieces I have available to me, before I attempt to plan what to build towards. ie, medical diagnosis and prognosis for whatever health issues I’m dealing with and how that may or may not limit me. Financial situation, etc.

We may sell and move and take up somewhere new, more remote, smaller… or? who knows. Lots of options.