Seriously miffed at the body
Okay, whatever is going on with me health wise is not conveniently fitting into any of the diagnostic boxes that have so far presented themselves. Even though I have all the symptoms of severe hypothyroidism, the blood tests came back… normal. I was feeling so crappy today, that Wolfe insisted I go back to emerge, he was worried about me. I caved, and went in. The people at emerge were concerned enough by my symptoms, that they did a whack of blood work to check for infection, inflammation, etc, etc. The blood tests came back… normal.
I have never felt so ‘abnormal’ in my life. I’m uber weak, can hardly move, all my muscles are sore and fatigued. I am dizzy, short of breath, confused. My skin is dry and itchy, and I feel ‘tender’ everywhere. I have a hard time focusing. I can’t concentrated, I’m exhausted, physically and mentally and emotionally. Tired and worn down. The trouble with having depression is the tendency to chalk it up to the depression… if it weren’t so ’severe’. I can’t imagine this level of physical affliction being depression related. My arms and fingers are getting sore and tired typing this… this teeny tiny little post. It feels like I’m lifting weights, not depressing keys, and that’s on the painkillers.
I am not freaking insane… I’ve been insane before. I remember perfectly well what that was like, I know, it probably comes in different flavors. I’d like to be making all of this up.. then maybe I can unmake it before it unmakes me.. blech. Okay, enough out of me, my fingers need a rest, seriously.
July 26th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Hmm, vitamin D deficiency? B-12 deficiency? Candida overgrowth? Toxic overload of drugs perhaps?
I hope relief shows up soon.
July 27th, 2007 at 9:45 am
Could it be chronic fatigue syndrome? I’ve heard that is very difficult to diagnose. Hope you feel better soon, Leila.
July 29th, 2007 at 12:58 am
Amazing..
..thus is the power of the internet.
Up until this point, I would have never met an extraordinary person like you, Leila, via ordinary means.
How did I meet you?
Rather, how did you meet me?
I caught you petting my Sesame, and decided to pay my respects.
I was first reading your “My Blog” in Facebook,
then, I caught on to reading your actual blog.
You write with a great command of English..I was rather impressed.
You rarely see this kind of literature on the web, especially from friends..
The way you render your condition..
illustrate your philosophy..
your use of vocabulary..
your grammar and writing style..
..It is all so elaborate, well-depicted, and with such keen insight.
(Pardon my grammar, btw)
Sexuality isn’t really my theme,
but just because it isn’t,
it is just that much more impressive that you were able to draw my attention to the subject.
Based on my judgement on your article,
I would have to say,
You really don’t have much options besides resting, eating well, taking meds, and occasionally petting fluffs. ie. you can’t exercise much.
However, I do sincerely wish you get better soon.
Tony Tung
N.B. Thanks for petting Sesame, he loves this stuff.
July 29th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Chronic Fatigue syndrome when it first appeared was a “hysterical female mental illness”, 50 years ago epilepsy was a form of “insanity”. Having normal bloodwork doesn’t mean you aren’t ill, it just means they can’t identify it - and when doctors are wrong….I’m sorry, doctors are never wrong, so when they LOOK wrong, then it must be the patient’s fault. Er…not. I hope you get better and find an advocate to find out what is wrong.