Okay, whatever is going on with me health wise is not conveniently fitting into any of the diagnostic boxes that have so far presented themselves. Even though I have all the symptoms of severe hypothyroidism, the blood tests came back… normal. I was feeling so crappy today, that Wolfe insisted I go back to emerge, he was worried about me. I caved, and went in. The people at emerge were concerned enough by my symptoms, that they did a whack of blood work to check for infection, inflammation, etc, etc. The blood tests came back… normal.

I have never felt so ‘abnormal’ in my life. I’m uber weak, can hardly move, all my muscles are sore and fatigued.  I am dizzy, short of breath, confused. My skin is dry and itchy, and I feel ‘tender’ everywhere.  I have a hard time focusing. I can’t concentrated, I’m exhausted, physically and mentally and emotionally. Tired and worn down.  The trouble with having depression is the tendency to chalk it up to the depression… if it weren’t so ’severe’. I can’t imagine this level of physical affliction being depression related. My arms and fingers are getting sore and tired typing this… this teeny tiny little post. It feels like I’m lifting weights, not depressing keys, and that’s on the painkillers.

I am not freaking insane… I’ve been insane before. I remember perfectly well what that was like, I know, it probably comes in different flavors.  I’d like to be making all of this up.. then maybe I can unmake it before it unmakes me.. blech. Okay, enough out of me, my fingers need a rest, seriously.