Well, we’ve made an exciting decision. We’re going to get a car! For a long time a car has been off our radar, for a few reasons, the expense for one, lack of safe neighbourhood parking for two, and the fact that we live in the middle of a city with a pretty good transit system three.

Tonight I had a big realization. I am becoming very severly housebound. However if someone picks me up to go out somewhere, or we take a cab, I can usually get out to do stuff. A lot of my anxiety about going out has to do with ‘feeling safe’ there are places that feel safe to me, favorite stores and restaurants, dark movie theatres, quiet parks, my home, and cars. (Just like that cars song, I feel safe in Cars). I don’t feel safe walking in the city, on busses and skytrain, in some stores and not quiet spaces, it’s not that I worry about the neighbourhood or the people. I don’t feel threatened or at risk for crime or assault of any kind, it’s a purely irrational psychological limit. Going from a very safe place, my couch, to another very safe place, a car, I can go to other safe ‘zones’ for me and bypass the world. Also there is a very real possibility I may be starting a day program for crazies like me, who need structure in their lives, yay for basket weaving!

The idea of public transit to and fro a day program day in and day out was horrifying me. Wolfe would end up coming with me, and picking me up, so we’d be looking at the price of two fulltime bus passes of cost. Part of the cost that now will be going towards … da da da …. a car! We’ll have to cut some other corners, a little less on RRSPs a little less on the mortage, a little tighter budgeting. We’ll have to pay for secure parking, which will be challenging. But, we’re pretty sure we can do it.

The clincher for me really is how it will change my life, having a car before never would have made a difference in terms of my level of freedom, anywhere I needed to go I would happily, safely, and conveniently go with transit. The reality is I’m not that person anymore, and the truth is, I’m now a person that -needs- a car.

Now we are rushing to find one, we were going to be renting one for the holidays, renting on the 24th! Only three days from now! But why put the money towards a rental if we’re going to buy anyways? We’re hoping, beyond hope, we can pick up a car in the next couple of days, lets hope the universe will provide.

Oh, and went to see Narnia, which we thought was delightful.

Also Thank You to Paul and Poppy for your fab naughty card, and to jOni for yours and your thougtfull gift, I miss you baby gurl, we do need to go shopping soon.

XO
L

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