Stuff
Well, just saw the trailer for the next Harry Potter movie, and can’t wait to go see it. They are releasing it in imax form to, and we have an imax theatre very close to us, so that is going to be a must do. It’s odd what will prompt me to write. So many things happen in a day, in a week, but what is it that makes me motivated to journal seems very obscure at times.
Wolfe split with tanuki this week, and that is a rather big shift, as they would spend a lot of time chatting and she was over usually weekly and stuff. I hope that it works out that they can still spend friendly time, or that she may want to spend time with me. I know she has friends she’s closer to or has had for a longer time, but I haven’t many friends in my life right now, and though with my mood disorder I may be ‘removed’ emotionally a lot of the time, I really did enjoy the time I would spend with her, or that the three of us would spend together.
I won’t talk about Wolfe’s stuff, or about break up issues, because thats his piece to speak, and her’s, but suffice it to say he is well.
I wish I had more energy and less depression. There are people out there that want to connect with me, friends, people wanting to do BDSM play, or just visit, or do photos, or what have you. My family wants us to visit too, but it’s SO hard for me to get to it. I’ve just retreated into myself so much. It takes a lot to get me out and doing anything, or even in and doing anything. I’m not sure what I can do to change that.
Thanks to a reader of my journal, I’ve finally gone to get a referal to do an overnight testing for sleep apnea. It’s something I’ve thought of in the past, because I have some symptoms, and my mother has it to boot. But like many other things I know I should do, I just never got around to it. I’ve also asked for a referal to see a specialist about the possibility of lap band surgery. It’s weight loss surgery done by banding off an area of the stomach, and is therefore less permanent and able to be adjusted or removed if complications arise. I’m trying to get my health issues worked out at least. Last thursday I got a mouth gaurd to wear at night because it seems I’ve recently started grinding/clenching my teeth at night. It’s taking some getting used to, It seems more fun to chew on than my own mouth so I hope the stuff it’s out of is sturdy… you’d imagine so since it’s for people grinding. I have some mild paranoia that it will change my bite or the shape of my mouth or something.
What I do most of the time - Neopets(online gaming) and television. A little bit of reading at night, a lot of sleeping, and a fair bit of eating. I regularly remind myself that I should be grateful for what I do have. Millions have it far worse, and to try to keep positive in my life. Honestly, I don’t forsee things getting better for me, but thats part of depression too - lacking hope is a symptom..
L.