December already
The days crawl by and yet fly by in depression land. Actually, I’m not feeling too bad right this moment which is why I’m writing.
I finally had a referral come through for a psychiatrist, this one does three sessions which are for assessment, then decides if progressing together is the best course, so I won’t know for a bit whether I’ll be continuing on with him or not. Which is good, because it gives me time to see whether I feel it’s a good fit for me as well. I’ve kept off the diet cola, which I’m not sure is making a difference depression wise, but is making a difference simply in feeling good about my physical health, as I know that amount of diet cola simply isn’t good for you, and was affecting me in other ways, sodas lead to bone loss for one, it also replaced water in my diet, and that’s never good to subsititute out. So now I’m back to habits from a few years ago, and drinking water and green tea. I’ve been trying to eat healthier in general too, and have been making gains in that direction. If only I could get the excersize part of things back on track.
It’s just that I have no motivation to -do- anything. So I don’t go anywhere, and I don’t move, my body is essentially at the level of bed rest movement most of the time, and has been for a couple of years now, which makes it a physical, mental and emotional struggle to do much. Though when I do get out, I enjoy it, it’s the ‘getting out’ part that comes so hard. Silly brain.
Loads of things I need to do, should do, ought to do, that seem to pile up behind me. Most of the time I just shut my eyes and dream them away, literally. Sleeping an average of 12 hours a day, day being literal as well, I’m usually up during the night. What I need is a really bossy mean tough loving leather dyke fitness buff girlfriend to come drag me out of the house and if I balk scare me into it.
Decided we’re going to celebrate Xmas this year, we haven’t been for a number of years, well, not NOT celebrating, just not decorating in our own place, but still attending family gatherings and exchanging gifts where expected there. This year both Wolfe and tanuki want Xmas, so we’ll do something festive here. What I’m into, which tanuki seems to be too, is donating things to organizations for those in need. Everyone reading, please please take a moment to check into your local charity organizations, find out one that is convenient to you, and donate if you have items they need, and if not, even a small cheque makes a difference. Often you can find info online with a quick search, it’s the first of the month, you can easily plan to make a difference somehow between now and Xmas, don’t put it off!
People who know me and are local, if you have coats, boots, shoes, gloves, scarves, blankets, that you aren’t using anymore, if you want to dump them here you can, there are -loads- of organizations very local to me needing them.
Anyways, going to keep it short, I’m still easing into thinking in journal space after a break from it, and besides, sims2 is calling me back… addictive thing… glad I bought it though, it’s better than sleeping 16 hours a day, at least I have something that motivates me to come awake from time to time besides just the prime time tv reality shows I’ve become addicted to…
Monday - fear factor
Teusday - the biggest loser
Wednesday - America’s Next top model - the apprentice
Thursday - Survivor - the Amazing Race
Friday - New South Park (better than reality!)
Saturday - Mad Tv - SNL
Oh dear…
XO
Leila
December 2nd, 2004 at 10:57 pm
Mommy,
Glad to see You back with Your journal. There are a few things to do to motivate You to "get out".
Once a week, we can go shopping - good walking exercise too!
Once a week, You can exercise Your hands, wrists, arms, shoulders and back with the business end of a cane, crop or strap - surely Your slaby has done one thing wrong!
Once a week, You can load up on water and green tea and treat Your slaby to golden delights - surely she has done one thing right!
Once a week, You can have Your slaby massage Your feet and other needy parts.
Once a week, You can practice inducing lactating with Your slaby.
Once a week, You can attend a munch or play party with Your slaby.
There, thats six of seven! A girl needs to rest too! LOL! This post partem thing will pass with getting in the habit of having fun!
Loving You
December 5th, 2004 at 7:14 am
The diet soda is a killer.. I had to stop them myself last year. I drink water or every once in a while a regualr soda. When I quit, my heart murmur went away (scarey) and I lost 20 lbs…. I am still working on loosing the other extra 75 lbs of me, but I feel better myself drinking alot of water… Hang it..
December 7th, 2004 at 4:12 pm
Hi,
I came across your site by chance. I know what you mean. I spent this past summer in bed but got up for the few hours of darkness. In Scotland the nights are short in summer.
Anyway take care
Bisous
Ian
December 9th, 2004 at 7:25 pm
Hiya darlin, I found your site on diarist.net… very nice, I will be back! Off to read some more—bless!
December 11th, 2004 at 9:57 am
Glad I found your site, seems fun.
Good to hear your giving up fizzy
mud.Apparently carborised drinks
reduce oxygen supply to the muscles,
so does caffine. For diet try
"Live right for your type" a book
about eating to satisfy your blood
type or group as we call them in the
UK.By the by I was born a Earth Pig
acording to the Chinese, Lazy , fun
loving and honest.
Always have fun Dev
December 12th, 2004 at 5:13 am
Hi again,
read through a few more previous
days of your journal and saw that
sugar was also a target to give up.
Do not dispare look at this lateraly.
Refined sugar has esential minerals,
including manganese, removed from it
in the refining process. Manganese
is required to dijest glucose, so
the body uses the existing reserves
it has. This is why sugar is known
as an anti-nutrient. You do not have
to look too far to find the answer
Molases contains masses of Manganese
and other nutrients required to
digest glucose.A theory is that the
craving for sugar comes not only
from the break down of Insulin in
the body but also from the lack of
the nutients required to digest
glucose.Or to put it as some
Americans might "God made a whole
food, but Bubba thought he could
do better." I have Molases on my
breakfast each morning, and think
of Bubba each time I reach for
anything with sugar in it.
Have fun; always, Dev
December 12th, 2004 at 7:24 pm
Good luck with the therapist, if you don’t like him/her, you could always spew that cola poison in her general direction and pretend you are just having a slightly neurotic episode. That stuff will kill ya, you know!
@
December 13th, 2004 at 2:15 am
I happened upon your webpage and found it intriguing. I’ve been drinking less colas, trying Trying to drink more water with lemon juice. I was told that for every pound you’re supposed to drink 4 ounces of water. That can be Alot of water. lol I’ve also started drinking this Detox tea once a day. With the mixture of water w/lemon and this tea, you can clean your body of toxins and begin to easily lose weight. I’ve lost five pounds in 2 weeks. My energy level is slowly rising. Oh yeah and thanks for getting me addicted to your webpage. lol Have a great day.
December 17th, 2004 at 1:03 pm
Katt — You are so generous with yourself and your passions, I hope this hard time will pass soon to better days for you.
I’m sure you know about this already — but fyi to the blogosphere: there is an excellent resource for Kink-Aware Professionals ("psychotherapeutic, medical, and legal professionals who are informed about the diversity of consensual, adult sexuality") at
http://www.bannon.com/kap/
take care hon
Aunt Susan
http://www.hubbies.com