Thanks for your comment Danielle, it’s nice to know people are reading, considering I haven’t written for so long! Unfortunately my place doesn’t look exactly like a sultans harem room… but I do plan on having one some day, would that make me a sultanette? I love figs and dates, and honey, so I don’t think I could go wrong on that end of things. I prefer figs fresh and ripe than dried though, they are one of my favorite fruits. When I get property some day, and have a home with a harem room, I also plan on having fig trees which do grow quite well in BC Canada here, and produce a lot of very yummy fruit.

Being a serviced oriented Domme, I have always enjoyed the concept that one day I will have a household with a live in, or two, or ten, to attend me. I always like to dream up various, well, accomodation styles for various types of submissives, and one of the rooms I would like to have would be what I think of as the harem room. Basically a floor entirely padded, lots of silk saris used to create a tent like effect through draping over ceiling and walls, multiple blankets and sheets of silk and satin with an adjoining shower/bath room. I’d install a split door, the kind that you can open the top or the bottom, or both. Then subbies entering and leaving would have to crawl in or out, when not locked in entirely that is.

But that is only one of many ideas, so I need to keep buying lotto tickets, though I will get a version of my dream estate some day regardless, even if it’s smaller, and I have to wait till I’m 80 to do it dammit. Actually it won’t be that bad, we’re scrimping, saving, and hoping, paying off the mortage on the little loft condo bit by bit, and after that’s done, we’ll have the equity, have our record of bankruptcy will have come off the files, and we should be able to invest in something to build towards. Patience. Actually, I’m a very patient person, and I enjoy thinking about doing things sometimes almost as much as I enjoy doing them, anticipation is often half the fun… okay well maybe not half, but fun regardless.

So my sex drive seems to slowly be returning to a somewhat normal level after about 3 years of serious impairment. Depression, and anti-depressant meds will do that to you. I’m actively working on it, which doesn’t hurt. My goal is to try to have an orgasm a day. Retrain my body into remembering that hey, this is really good. It’s also about the only type of exercise I manage, that and shopping, and beating on people in scene. I think I get the most of a workout by topping. I lose track of my fatigue and effort level in getting absorbed into what I’m doing. So I’m thinking maybe I should create sex related and BDSM related ‘fitness’ goals. For instance, I recently got a strap-on, which has gotten little use. I have used it, but not for anything other than for kinky photos of slipping a baby bottle in where a dil would go, and having my adult baby boy suck me off till the bottle was empty while we snapped some pics. I had an invitation to use it last night, but thought about it, and knowing where I’m at right now, and remembering from past life experiences how much work fucking someone can lead up to, I’m a bit ashamed to say I refused the invitation, and took lazier routes to the same end. I didn’t get any complaints, but regardless, I’m making one of my fitness goals to be work up to some hot and heavy pelvic thrusting some time before the year is out. I’ll start slow, besides, most of my, um, power, is in my hips anyways. I’ll try not to cheat by laying on my back.

That’s enough from me, I’m easing back into the journal writing too. Coming out of depressive fog states, I need to take little steps in many directions, and not pile too much back on my plate all at once.

Get to see my baby boy on teusday, after many weeks of his absence… can’t wait!

XO
Leila