No longer a raving insomniac
Had a half decent night of sleep last night after my completely exhausted ramblings yesterday, and feeling and 100% better. So I’m no longer a raving insomniac, I’m a raving partially rested person instead.
Just watched the Cat in the Hat on pay per view on TV and really enjoyed it, was just in the right mood for it really. Ate a huge mega bag of microwave popcorn today, and the only other food I ate all day long, were hotdogs and ice cream, and diet coke… I guess I was a bit of a kid for most of the day, and mostly indulged all my cravings as they came on one after another. I did work though when I first woke up this morning at 10, straight through till about 3, so 5 hours of powering away through about 1000 photos, split pretty much half and half between my Adult Baby/Diaper Fetish/Age Play site DarkNursery.com and the headshave fetish site. We shot the photos all together from one very great fun kinky model we have who we shaved bald, went to the pub and had dinner and beer with, and then came back and played house with. I can’t complain. Was very happy with the photos for the most part. Though usually when I go through them, I always come up with a dozen things I -could- have included in the shoot but didn’t think of then. Ah well, there is always a next time. Besides, I’ve said it before, I could live to be 120 and shoot and create porn/fetish photos every day of my life, and probably never have time to manifest all my ideas. That’s why I have to publish this subversive smut so I can influence others to continue on in my legacy of perverse pleasure
Have I written yet that I was asked to do a workshop/talk on ageplay/Dommy Mommy stuff for one of the local kink organizations BIO. Check it out http://www.vancouverdungeon.com Monday the 17th, 8pm, Lick Nightclub… come one come all, come in your little school girl/boy uniforms, your pj’s or diapers, for adults of all ages, or should I say kids of legal age, and their keepers. I hope there is a good turn out… come down and support me! or not… did I mention I will probably pass out candy…
pssst… hey little girl… want some CaNdY!?!? … well it -usually- works…
I haven’t decided whether I’m going to make some notes to take with me, or just wing it entirely. I’ll probably do both, have the notes for back-up, but I would rather wing it, I would also like to make it relatively interactive, which means that I dont’ want to prep or organize it too much, because I want to take alot of my influence from the people who show up… I like to be inspired from my environment, I would like it to be as ‘experiential’ as possible, and contextual.
I may have to go do some ‘research’… not on the topic, but on elements to drive it home, not the how to’s, but… well, If I tell you, and you come, and you know all my tricks and plans ahead of time, it won’t be as much fun now will it?
Nanny nanny boo boo!
hah! I can be both big and small at the same time, I’m not a very linear person, and I absolutely love to contradict myself. It proves me both right and wrong every time… or both, usually neither, and D) All of the above.
It’s always good to cover most of your bases, that’s how you make it home, and though I hate base ball, I do like to go all the way, but it’s the getting there that’s half the fun. What was I talking about?
Doesn’t really matter really, what I’m saying, what’s important is what you’re hearing, because that’s the part you get, so I could be a monkey typing out absolute gibberish… hey, well, I am a primate, and I am typing… and well, you make up your own mind.
Anyways, that’s what I wan’t to do when I talk to people, say nothing, and have people hear everything, or what they need to hear, or what they want to hear, the latter is usually the case even when it, or maybe especially differs from the former. People usually hear what they expect or want to rather than what they need to.
I just like to shake it up some, through some crap out there, some love out there, a little bit of something controversial and see what the world spits back at me, so far, it’s been pretty good. but it might only work for functional disfunctionals, or is that disfunctioning functionals… you know, together screwed up people like me, and the rest of the fucking planet, the ones that know it, and the rest of you in that river not in egypt, that lovely lake of oblivion, DeNial. Spank me for it, you know you want to. Whether it’s cause you love me, or you hate me… just spank me baby, then be good and bend over for Mommy…
purrrrrrrrrrrr
Then, in the middle of the Cat and the Hat there was this big hail and thunder storm, beautiful, I had to go stand and get hit by chunks of ice, they were just a little larger than the erasers on the ends of pencils (when was the last time you held a pencil, with an eraser, a yellow painted, HB pencil, it’s been a while for me now that I think of it, that’s what you get when you do crossword puzzles with pens, and stop keeping a sketch book, pencils leave your life…)
It was magical, the sky in the city is often an orange colour from the city lights, and then with the storm, there would be flashes of colour, and chunks of ice pounding down in a racket of rythmic intensity, punctuated by the boom of thunder. Wolfe and I just stood, and 10 minutes of the Cat in the Hat is missing in my experience, happily for those 10 minutes that the storm was raging over us, it was moving fast, it came as quickly as it left, leaving only the silence of heavy rain chatter behind it, and air that smelled clean, green, and slightly electric.
As we stood outside, hands outstretched from the security of the cover of overhang over our porch, hands pelted with water turned solid, I marvelled. What would it have been like for our ancestors who lived in regions where in their shorter lifespans, they may only see a storm like this once. Without the science behind it… it would be miraculous, would they sit around the fire old and wise and tell stories to their children of how one day when they were children, the sky roared, spit fire, and threw clear stones that magically transformed into water. What would you make of it, Ice in the spring, in small perfect chunks raining down, lightening and thunder. Do we have magic like that left in our world?… it’s in my mine. I’ve told you the stories, but you may not have really been listening, or understanding, because if you haven’t the reference for it, things like that, can be hard to believe. You have your own stories too, I know it. Magic is all around us, all the time, beauty, power, creation, passion… you can’t miss it, it’s everywhere, it’s constantly throwing itself in your face. Every moment, a perfect unbelievable cosmic event. why not? Why Not. WHY NOT! Why do people like to fight that, why do people want to cling to the safe, to the ordinairy, to the rational, to the convetional, to the masks, and roles, and traditions of belief or disbelief… WHY!, why not… LOOK
look, open your eyes…
what do you want to do today?
Me, I had no proper meal times, over the course of the day, in several small installments, I ate 6 hot dogs, with cheese, mustard and ketchup. Half a tub of Dulce de Leche Ice cream, about a litre of diet coke, I edited some pretty fun hot creative twisted porn that I had participated in the creation of. Watched a movie based on one of my childhood literary heros - Dr. Seuss’ Cat in the Hat… and I thought, there you have it right there, it’s right in the cat in the hat. It doesn’t matter whether you hear it from me, from the Cat in the Hat or from the friggin Dalai Lama, the message is essentially the same. Honestly… trully…
Live in love. Just live it, just see it, just do it, just be it, in the moment, living, in love.
In love with life, self, others, respectful, magical, creative, peaceful, accepting, knowing, giving, and receiving, and realizing you’re the question and the answer, and it doesn’t need to be made any more complicated than that.
you may still think I’m full of shit, but at least give some importance to the Cat in the Hat and Tibetan Monks… puleez.
Now of to more important daily life tasks, I have to add more songs to my Sex and BDSM play list. You know… music that makes you horny or want to engage in consensual power exchange dynamics of some sort that release massive endorphins into your system… music pumps up the endorphin value. And you shouldn’t need me or Dr. Seuss or men in saffron robes to tell you. When you’re not playing, or reminiscing over past playing, then planning for future play is a good option.
XOX
Leila