Mmmmmm, Momma has some serious motivation to kick her own ass back into shape. Even though the little cub I’ve become smitten with seems to adore my curves as they are. It’s just, well, he’s big, he’s buff, and he has some ground fighting training… and I just keep thinking it would be really yummy to wrestle and have some intense rough sex with the boy. Right now the odds would be way to stacked in his favor, I’d like there to be a bit more of an even playing field for some rough and tumble. Even at my best, he’d still be able to take me, but since he identifies as subby to me, it gives me that edge. Though it could be fun to lose on occasion too.

All of this is fantasy rambling, it was one intense loving connection in a hideaway from the real world. I’ve known people to get back to the ‘real world’… which is usually the world they have to be fake in, and have a change of heart. Having a relationship with me usually involves a fair element of risk. After all, I’m not in the closet, I’m a wide out on the web and in the community full blown pervert. People who fall for me in a serious way inevitably start asking themselves those hard questions… how to integrate their relationship with me with the rest of their lives. Can they take me home to their parents? If they do, do they take my big bisexual buck husband along with me? Or just omit the fact that I happen to a) be married and b) am primarily a dominatrix and pornographer by trade. Sometimes easy to do in a casual relationship, but if they want serious, and long term, and live in… well. I want to live a bdsm kink lifestyle, I want live in slaves, I want stables, and nurseries, and medical fetish rooms… If someone chooses to live with me, do they come out to family, or do they cut ties with family, or do they invite family (legal adults only) to come dine at my table (which may have living table legs at the time)…. oh dear.

So the boy says he loves me, but how much he can give, and whether he bolts, will remain to be seen. Me, on my end… I think he’s a total keeper. I adore him. He’s 100 real. It’s just one of those things, where you know, it could work. It doesn’t hurt that Wolfe thinks he’s yummy too. Though the boy is only bi-curious… not that I think thats a major concern, a) Wolfe has a really good ‘recruitment’ record, and b) both Wolfe and the boy are hang up free, I don’t think either would have a problem sharing me (preferably some of the time, at the same time). Wolfe likes him enough that he even suggested topping him and I at a party sometime. I know Wolfe likes someone when he’s willing to beat their ass.

So my fantasies have gone full blown willy nilly all over the freaking place. Thats what happens when you spend a lot of time with your tongue in a particularly willing warm and skilled mouth.

Want a little taste of my fantasy world?

boy is into age play, so I’m already his Mommy… there are a zillion fun scenarious there.
Wolfe get’s Daddy like at times, we could tag team age play the boy. I go little at times, maybe I could end up with a couple of Daddies at once every once in a while.

Discovered the boy not only likes to recieve a little pain, he likes to dish it out too. Maybe he’s a little switchier than subby. The boy has worked, and intends to work in fields which involves uniforms. I love a man in uniform, especially when he’s ‘taking me down’ roughly. Did I mention he has some martial arts background? Did I mention how much I love being pinned? and er… well, choked. Two boys that know how to safely cut off a little circulation to the brain can’t be a bad thing… can it?

Then there’s the whole fantasy of watching the two men I now find sexiest in the world wrestling…

okay… there are plenty more of those thoughts where those ones came from. I’m trying not to think them too much, which is one of the reasons I’m writing them down, trying to ‘let go’ a little, as I have a tendency to become obsessed, and go flying head over heels, which I have.

So, doing my best to keep my head on straight, remind myself, the boy has a girlfriend, has a busy life, has lots of plans for that life that have never included me, and I can’t start writing him in full time, even in fantasy land, if I’m going to stay sane (relatively speaking, since I’m already far from it).

Thats enough mush from me (by the way, if I get into any of those fantasies… I’ll do my best to get pictures )

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 4th, 2004 at 1:00 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.